DogMan vs. ManDog
The question I hear often (as many of you can probably relate) discussed by nearly everyone from kids to those in academia: "Would you rather own a man in a dog's body, or a dog in a man's body?". Not which you would rather be but own, due to the impossibility of imagining having a dog's mind. The amazing part of this question is many are quick with a seemingly correct answer to them, while their response may be the opposite from the person across from them, leading to lengthy discussions delving into and opening up this question to its fullest. For those few that haven't heard this hypothetical question there's a chance one or both may seem appealing, but I'll be quick to make it clear this is one of those dually unpleasant "Would you rather's". For that reason, the stipulations follow that you are not allowed to give away (or even kill) the dog/man/whateveryouwanttocallit and to make the situations fair the life expectancy of each will be equal so no factoring dog years and stuff.
To start, the downsides to a dog in a man's body are the most obvious. A dog's aggressiveness and general rough play style could be a hazard to those around it when equipped with the body of a fit grown 175 lb. man. In addition to that, the imagery of the dead stare and tongue hanging out/panting of a grown man which just really creeps me out. This creature would also have the vocal chords/diaphragm of a man but lack the intelligence to properly communicate which would result in constant loud shouting at random intervals of the day.
The cons to a man in a dog's body are typically not as obvious to many. Often people see this as an actual plus and romanticize the idea of having a dog best friend, as there's been many movies based around this concept. In actuality, you are subjecting a human to a fate possibly worse than death. They would be one of the most isolated creatures on this planet, not being able to properly befriend anyone. No developing relationships with dogs as the creature "really" is a man (like can you imagine your actual friends just being dogs) nor properly cultivate relationships with humans either; due to differences in vocal chords this creature would only be able to bark and wouldn't even be able to write, the best solution I've heard is a keyboard which would have to be huge due to dogs' paws thus not portable at all. Some may suggest they use this dog to gain publicity/money, but at the end of the day the feds will get too interested in this biological wonder and take it in for government testing and then you just subjected your creature to an even worse fate.
This question brings up lots of debates on topics such as ethics and what defines someone (mind vs. body). This debate is the gift that keeps on giving, if someone is very sure-footed in their opinion, you can modify the question in a spectrum of ways by changing the dog to anything from a guppy to a great ape (or for you advanced viewers out there you can compare animal in another animal's body but that'd have to be a whole other and much longer post). For the joy of discussion, I'll always argue for the opposite position of the respondent's to make them grapple with the topic more and potentially change their stance, but for those who want to know my actual opinion, it's man in a dog's body. I just wouldn't be able to live with basically torturing a human on a day to day basis, so the solution is to simply lock the man-in-dog in the basement cellar and pray the guest's or the children find about it. To those thinking this is too cruel, we're nearly all (exceptions for vegetarians) responsible for countless cruel deaths of animals on a daily basis all for a simple pleasure of eating meat and you're a hypocrite (a discussion that could be expanded much much more). I just see this solution as the least cruel outcome, as stated above its a troubling "Would you rather?" anyway.
As I said though, that's just my opinion. Please feel free to put your answer and reasoning down below in the comments, it's always nice to hear other viewpoints to help grapple with this age-old question.
To start, the downsides to a dog in a man's body are the most obvious. A dog's aggressiveness and general rough play style could be a hazard to those around it when equipped with the body of a fit grown 175 lb. man. In addition to that, the imagery of the dead stare and tongue hanging out/panting of a grown man which just really creeps me out. This creature would also have the vocal chords/diaphragm of a man but lack the intelligence to properly communicate which would result in constant loud shouting at random intervals of the day.
The cons to a man in a dog's body are typically not as obvious to many. Often people see this as an actual plus and romanticize the idea of having a dog best friend, as there's been many movies based around this concept. In actuality, you are subjecting a human to a fate possibly worse than death. They would be one of the most isolated creatures on this planet, not being able to properly befriend anyone. No developing relationships with dogs as the creature "really" is a man (like can you imagine your actual friends just being dogs) nor properly cultivate relationships with humans either; due to differences in vocal chords this creature would only be able to bark and wouldn't even be able to write, the best solution I've heard is a keyboard which would have to be huge due to dogs' paws thus not portable at all. Some may suggest they use this dog to gain publicity/money, but at the end of the day the feds will get too interested in this biological wonder and take it in for government testing and then you just subjected your creature to an even worse fate.
This question brings up lots of debates on topics such as ethics and what defines someone (mind vs. body). This debate is the gift that keeps on giving, if someone is very sure-footed in their opinion, you can modify the question in a spectrum of ways by changing the dog to anything from a guppy to a great ape (or for you advanced viewers out there you can compare animal in another animal's body but that'd have to be a whole other and much longer post). For the joy of discussion, I'll always argue for the opposite position of the respondent's to make them grapple with the topic more and potentially change their stance, but for those who want to know my actual opinion, it's man in a dog's body. I just wouldn't be able to live with basically torturing a human on a day to day basis, so the solution is to simply lock the man-in-dog in the basement cellar and pray the guest's or the children find about it. To those thinking this is too cruel, we're nearly all (exceptions for vegetarians) responsible for countless cruel deaths of animals on a daily basis all for a simple pleasure of eating meat and you're a hypocrite (a discussion that could be expanded much much more). I just see this solution as the least cruel outcome, as stated above its a troubling "Would you rather?" anyway.
As I said though, that's just my opinion. Please feel free to put your answer and reasoning down below in the comments, it's always nice to hear other viewpoints to help grapple with this age-old question.
A man in a dog's body sounds like by far the best of the two options to me. One of my all time favorite movies is Up and the dogs in that movie are some of the funniest villains ever. I would of course invent a way for the dog to be able to talk like a human, probably through some form of sign language, so it would be the most fulfilling relationship possible. I really enjoyed reading this essay! It was an extremely engaging topic. I feel that this essay could be more self reflective and less argumentative, but you did a wonderful job writing it.
ReplyDeleteThis was quite a riveting story. While both of these options seems pretty interesting and they both come with perks, both paths are just trash. Trapping a man inside of a dog's body would be cruel, demeaning, unfair and downright ridiculous. On the flip side, the uncontrollable, aggressive dog in a man's body is really just a danger to society. Especially when you think of different breeds of dogs (imagine a ptibull in a human's body running around attacking people). This essay was surprisingly thought-provoking and I will continue thinking about this question further.
ReplyDeleteThis is indeed an age old debate, one that has been a part of me since that fateful bus ride back from a tennis meet. Personally, I would choose to own a man in a dogs body. If I were forced to live with a dog in a man's body, with all the secrecy and weirdness and creepiness without any hope of the creature's immediate death, I'd probably at some point check out myself. Anyway, I do see the possibility of cultivating a strong relationship with a man-dog. Communication would be difficult, intelligent and philosophical conversations even more so, but I'm sure we would find a way around it. I personally wouldn't forever lock the creature in my basement; it could just act as a regular dog in company. That could be fun too.
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